This is Not America.

Kai hasn't said anything funny for a while and I started to worry that perhaps he had outgrown his funny stage. Today my fears were set aside. We were talking about places he might want to visit when he gets older and the possibility of going to Korea came up.

Kai replied, "Sure, but first I want to visit America." I paused and asked him where he lived. "Dad, this is Heber, not America."

Indeed, he may have a point there...

Choose Only One Ma'am.

My wife received a call on November 7, 2008 at 4:33 p.m. and the Caller ID said "UTAH STATE GOVT 801- 521-6210" so out of curiosity she answered it. Mistake. Somehow she got talked into participating in a survey that would supposedly help the State make better decisions about Utah's CHIP (Children's Health Insurance Program) otherwise known as Medicaid/the breadline/charity/socialism/the dole. (That's easy. End it. But I digress...) Several minutes into the survey the caller asked her to identify her race and the race of her children. No problem. Asian for her. Asian-White for the kids. And that's where the simplicity ended and the difficulty began...

(Remember this is Utah).

"Sorry Ma'am. Which one best describes your children's race: White, Black, Asian, Hispanic...?"

"Yes. Asian-White."

"Sorry Ma'am. I need you to choose a race: White, Black, Asian, Hispanic..."

"Okay. Asian-White."

"Obviously I'm not communicating. You can only choose one race. Which is it? White, Black, Asian, Hispanic...?"

"Obviously I'm not communicating. I am Asian. My husband is White. My kids are Asian-White."

"That's not a choice. How would you best describe your children's race: White, Black, Asian, Hispanic...?"

"What do you mean that's not a choice? I am Asian. My husband is White. We chose to have kids. My kids are half. Half Asian. Half White. H-A-L-F."

"Okay. I'm sorry ma'am. You can only choose one race. Which is it?"

"I don't know. They're half. Is that a problem for you?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. You can only choose one race box on the survey form."

"I don't know. You pick one. Choose your favorite."

"I'm sorry ma'am."

And the survey caller finally decides to moves on...

My real question is why isn't "human" an option?

Ayn Rand is Nuts... and Bizarre.

Sometimes ya gotta yield and embrace a little of your inner Peter Keating just to make it...

Konnichiwa! There's No Sushi Here!

"Jerk!" That's how my otherwise gentle sweet (Korean born, now an American Citizen) wife responded to a teenager who sarcastically greeted her with "Konnichiwa" as we passed him in the grocery store parking lot last night.

It reminded us of an incident that my wife experienced when we first moved to Heber City four years ago. While shopping at the local grocery store some teenage boys passed by my wife and laughingly said "There's no sushi here..." They cracked themselves up pretty good, laughing all the way down the aisle as they left. Funny guys. Haha. Wish I would have thought of that one first! But then again, not everyone retains the ability to think like a first grader so long in life.

(Its interesting that both of these incidents happened at the grocery store, eh? Maybe grocery stores are magnets for racist idiots?)